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September 26, 2007
Failure to Thrive
After seeing all the new babies that were at Christin and Stephen's shower last weekend, it was really a reality check about how small Jonah is. There were several babies there that were younger and quite a bit bigger. I think Layla was the only one smaller than him, and that is just because she was only a week and a half old. Four week old Ellie had a couple pounds on him, and 7 week old Benjamin had at least 4 pounds. It was very disheartening.
I took Jonah to the doctor yesterday just for a weight check. He weighed 9 pounds 11 oz, which is only a gain of 5 ounces in two weeks. This is the first time he is off of his growth curve. That puts him below the 5th percentile. The doctor is concerned (as am I.) She wants me to pump for a week, and give him formula instead. Then I am supposed to bring him in again on Monday for another weight check. If he fails to gain (should be a minimum of 3.5 ounces) he will be labeled "failure to thrive" and we will be sent to a specialist to have some tests done. If he fails to gain that means there may be something causing him or not allowing his body to process all the nutrients he is getting. If he does gain well though, that just means that either I don't have enough milk, or just not very caloric milk.
After talking to my LLL leader and to several other learned people about it, I decided to continue nursing, but to offer more formula after each feeding (I had been only giving him about 6 ounces of formula total each day.) Now he is getting 16 to 20 ounces a day. It is very time consuming, and very frustrating.
Before Jonah was born I had very high expectations and hopes for being able to exclusively breastfeed him. I was determined to try everything possible to make it work. It seems that isn't going to happen though. I believe I have exhausted all my options for increasing milk supply and calorie content, but nothing is working. I also know from past experience how hard it is physically and emotionally to do both. I had really hoped to make it at least to 6 months with nursing, but now I don't know if I will.
I keep telling myself that it doesn't make me any less of a mother, or a bad mother, or inadequate...but it is very disappointing to say the least.
Posted by rachel at September 26, 2007 10:30 PM
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Comments
I know you wanted to nurse, but (of course as you know)the most important thing to keep in mind is Jonah's health. Some babies just can't nurse adequately and some moms can't breastfeed. I'm not saying you never will, but it certainly doesn't make you a bad mom if you can't do it with Jonah. What makes you a good mom is taking care of Jonah and making sure is healthy and growing no matter how you have to do it, not whether or not it's through breastfeeding! I know this is discouraging, but the Lord will work it out. I'll be praying for you and for little Jonah to gain weight!
Posted by: Ragan at September 27, 2007 12:30 PM
Hey girl, I too know how much you wanted to breast feed, and you have for 3 months. That is more than a lot of moms so be glad you have done that much. One of the reasons the doctor wanted you to only bottle feed is because of the energy that Jonah has to use to eat. If he is both nursing and taking a bottle that is twice what he needs to use to eat. He is burning up his calories that he needs to grow. It is only for one week and you would also be able to measure your breast milk and be sure how much you are producing and be sure if you get to continue to breastfeed that you have enough. Just something to have on your side if need be. Is there a way the doctor could test your milk? Who knows. What is important and you know this is Jonah. He will be OK either way. One week to give this a try is not too much. You will still be making milk if you pump. Why not pump while you give him a bottle and get it all done at once.
Posted by: Lou Ann at September 28, 2007 09:28 AM
You can't say that you didn't try. And when you see him plumping up it will all be worth it.
Posted by: Amy at September 28, 2007 02:23 PM
I'm sorry things aren't going as smoothly as you'd hoped. :( No matter what, you're a good mom and you put forth a lot more effort than many other moms that I know. But, that doesn't mean this is the end of your breastfeeding relationship! Have you visited kellymom.com? It has a lot of useful info about breastfeeding, weight gain concerns, etc. Are/were you breastfeeding on demand and co-sleeping? Both of those things can help baby get more milk and up your supply. Whatever you decide, I'll pray that little Jonah packs on the pounds!
Posted by: Rachel at September 28, 2007 08:26 PM
Thanks for all the words of encouragement.
Rachel, I have read a lot on that website already and it has been very helpful. I also have been demand feeding, and co-sleeping. He nurses pretty much all night long.
I do plan to continue to nurse him. The past few weeks have been the first that I've really enjoyed it. Since I only nursed Gabriel for two months, I never got to the comfortable, enjoyable part of it. Now that I am there though, I really don't want to quit! I plan to keep it up as long as I can handle doing both (with a toddler around!) I will continue to try all the suggestions that I get though for increasing supply.
My LLL leader and lactation consultant both said that as he gets bigger he will get stronger and should become a more efficient nurser. Maybe then we'll be able to cut back on the formula. For now though, I've got to get him beefed up!
Posted by: Rachel Shipp at September 28, 2007 09:42 PM